one day ...

“Davies rd and Singletree Rd, 7:40 AM…” I mumble to myself as I glance over a bus schedule. It shouldn’t really be a problem. I mean after all my brother was going to the same place and he had been there before. I tie my laces on my new Reeboks, grab my bag and head out the door. The bus shows up at 8:10. Why does it have to be late today of all days? After I get on the bus I then realize what every person hates to realize. I have to go to the bathroom. Damn it! I knew I was forgetting something when I left the house. No problem, I just got to hold it. The bus driver seemed to be in a hurry because he kept driving over the speed humps with great vigor and the constant bouncing was not helping my situation. The seating on the bus was getting crowded and the person I was sitting next to get out a large bottle of Gatorade and starts drinking it there beside me. Oh man, this is getting worse. Finally, we arrive at our destination. Now, I had never been here before but went looking for restroom signs. Ahhh… I see it! I see the doorway and jump right in. Something seems strange I am not sure what it is. Oh forget it, I got to go! I kick the door in to a stall and shut it just as quick behind me. I then unzip and start going to town. Its like a fire hose. Then I hear some girls talking coming in. I clamp it off right quick. Oh it stings a bit. I hear them talking and one gets into the stall next to mine. Oh shit! This is the “Girls” bathroom! That’s why there were no urinals. I realize the way I am standing and the fact they can see my feet facing the toilet. So I turn around right quick and sit down. Then one of hem asks “Are you okay?” I say in as girly of a voice as I can “yes I am fine”. Now I am just sweating thinking about how am I going to get out of here without anyone seeing me? Now they are beginning to leave. I hear one of them say “ I think the Assembly is over”. Now is my chance. RING! Oh god no. I hear the hallway fill with a bunch of people. I can’t leave now. I have to wait it out. Then the bell rings a few minutes later. I don’t’ waste anytime thinking about it and just bolt out the door. No one saw me, but damn it, I don’t know what I am suppose to do because I missed the assembly. Worst first day of 7th grade ever!

JCK-AS-M26 Operating Manual:

Regarding Book Shelves:
Bookshelves are a necessity for décor. The purpose of bookshelves is to house evidence of depth and intelligence. Bookshelves can be obtained from Ikea, Pottery Barn and other furniture based establishments, however, the cost of these devices are clearly out of budget. You will obtain all necessary parts for bookshelf system. Hardware required: wood-preferably plywood, 6 cinderblocks. The plywood can usually be discovered along the side of the freeway. By acquiring the plywood this way you are also contributing to city cleanup. Well done. Cinderblocks can liberated from construction sites. Be sure to identify any security before entering. Remember, recon is important. Once you have obtained all necessary parts you may begin assembly. Once complete your next mission will be acquire books.

Regarding dishes:
Dishes are a necessity for living on your own. Required hardware is as follows: 2 Plates, 2 bowls. Under no standard circumstances are you to use any of the aforementioned hardware. All hardware should be kept sanitary and in optimum working order. Daily use of dishes will be provided by one of the following means:

1. You will be acquiring provisions from eateries you visit daily. These immediate foodstuff establishments will provide all necessary tableware. This is also an excellent time to obtain additional disposable tableware for base operations. Remember, it is effortless to take out the trash as opposed to sanitizing dishes.

2. For home use, Paper towels will act as a plate in a pinch. In addition, the sink is an ingenious device utilizing direct water refills and mess/spill management. Clean up time is optimum at 4.3 seconds.

The only circumstances that permit the use for dishes are when providing cuisine to intimate company. Then and only then may dishes be used to impress and establish a assumption of stellar eating habits.

Regarding Closet Space:
There is no need for a closet as your Dryer will provide all necessary storage for all clean clothes. Any Items Identified out side of said dryer are deemed "questionable" and should be washed, in which case it will end up in the aforementioned Dryer. In the unlikely event you are a guy with more clothes than a Dryer full, please transfer reserve clothing deposits to a pile by your bedroom door. If clothing pile locates itself to closer to the bed there will be an ever expanding risk of cross-contamination.

Regarding Cleaning:
Clean bathroom quarters, make bed and sleep above the bedding on Thursday night. Negligence is unavoidable in the early hours of Friday. If you happen to involve yourself in a friendly get together after work that leads to an intamite encounter a poor opinion of cleanliness could cause negotiations to close prematurely.

Mis-i-take Mushrooms

So I sit here thinking about the waves of change, some good and some bad. I know one of my best friends is leaving to work somewhere else. Now, I think subconsciously I have been more than harsh with them. I have been thinking and I know that I failed them in most tragic of ways. I knew I was supposed to show them something amazing. Show them a love they have never felt. I couldn’t do it. I knew when and how but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It required me to be something I am not, Something I was, someone with a heart. I know they would feel something greater than their imagination could dream if I was the way I used to be. I hope they can forgive me. I guess I will just miss my friend.

I see it now, the come back, the path, the questions and the answers

I can’t help it; sometimes I like to be on the losing side. I like to be losing, because then the come back is ever so sweet. I can see a wave of the greatest come backs this year. I do not mean with teams, or politics. I mean with those I hold dear. I see the possibility of friends getting ready in their minds to fight. Fight the good fight. Something we tend not to do in our day to day lives. We take the easy way out. Lord knows I do. What does it take to have an unwavering constitution to not “cut corners” and “go the distance”. It seems I have lost my way in my life, resting instead of running, giving up instead of standing up. Now I mean these things in my life not my work. In my work I always go the distance. I need to push more energy to my life to have that same resolve for precision and good decisions. I give too much to my job, too much time, too much effort, too much of my life. I realized why I do this. It’s because I no one thinks I can do this job, while they always say “good job” it’s not without their doubts. I know what it is they see, when they look at me and they wonder “how?” How can this be? He looks like a slacker, rose colored sunglasses and isn’t a fit person. Now I could change my image, but wait, weren’t we always taught that who we are is “okay”. Well we all know that is bullshit when it comes to working in a corporate office. Funk that noise. I will dress and look how I want. It’s not like I am wearing a goofy skirt to work. While I continue to prove myself everyday I wish not for their praise but rather their understanding that I can do this job of CM, QM, IT, Network, Graphics Design and support. I can do it all. I am sure of my skills and determination. I hope they will as well. Back to this come back, I see it is setting itself up right now. I am ready for it. I am ready to start along the difficult path. I hope to reach the end of my path with few casualties. So what do I need to do? Work less and feel more, listen to music of my life and let it guide me down my path with much haste, passing by the passengers of my life so my pain will be my own. Let each moment of pain stand for something more than those of days past. Bleed for my future, knowing what I am capable of. Sweat for the devastation once delivered to me. While a monster I was once, I will not be again. Changes have occurred on the inside, hope drives my will and heart. I feel there is a wealth in me. It is soon time to dig deep and deliver that which dreams can’t be measured but the nightmares can. We don't know who we are until we see what we can do.

And if that isn't inspirational, blow me.

Look straight into the window, please do not look below

I find my thoughts troubling as of late. All at once the ghosts of my past come to me. Things I wish to let go. Let go into darkness, forget, walk away. Love that I felt… Love that I feel is like scar on my thigh, only when I am most vulnerable can the scar be seen. Then pain it caused, the love it caused. Was it worth it? Yes, of course Not. Always on the fence, straddling, standing on the point, my point, the point of the picket fence. With one foot, one toe on the picket fence I balance with all my might. Still, the slightest breeze should tip my self, my soul one way or another, and just like that I can feel the pain, or the love. Always, the season wind blows. The summer time wind blows from the south, warm and gentle this breeze on my back, the smile of the sun and people warm my heart, to see people together.. It then chills as I know what I feel I miss. The fall wind comes from the west, slow as the time grows, my heart grows numb, as the leaves fall. The winter wind from the North, I must face the cold for it brings my heart the most precious of memories. For when the winter existed, close we were, friends enjoying time together. The spring wind comes from the east, this is the time to renew the heart and soul. So the heart … My heart... always seems to be broken in darkness. Maybe its why I am such an asshole. Who knows…

ALICIA SAID TO QUOTE HER ON THIS!

Alicia: -balls are fun
Abel: don't I know it
Alicia: and you can quote me
Abel: go on

am I a song writer?

Playlist:
My hamonica and a slow simple song

I was playing this song on my harmonica and thought it sounded familar.. and it turns out it was silent night i was like .. how do I know this song? weird .. and I was like dang im good if I am just making it up ... then I started sing along in my head .. and for about 3 seconds .. I was like WHOA .. now I am writing a song .. then I was like .. oh .. nevermind