Look straight into the window, please do not look below

I find my thoughts troubling as of late. All at once the ghosts of my past come to me. Things I wish to let go. Let go into darkness, forget, walk away. Love that I felt… Love that I feel is like scar on my thigh, only when I am most vulnerable can the scar be seen. Then pain it caused, the love it caused. Was it worth it? Yes, of course Not. Always on the fence, straddling, standing on the point, my point, the point of the picket fence. With one foot, one toe on the picket fence I balance with all my might. Still, the slightest breeze should tip my self, my soul one way or another, and just like that I can feel the pain, or the love. Always, the season wind blows. The summer time wind blows from the south, warm and gentle this breeze on my back, the smile of the sun and people warm my heart, to see people together.. It then chills as I know what I feel I miss. The fall wind comes from the west, slow as the time grows, my heart grows numb, as the leaves fall. The winter wind from the North, I must face the cold for it brings my heart the most precious of memories. For when the winter existed, close we were, friends enjoying time together. The spring wind comes from the east, this is the time to renew the heart and soul. So the heart … My heart... always seems to be broken in darkness. Maybe its why I am such an asshole. Who knows…